“If you want something done, find a busy person.” I read that once. The idea was that a busy person knows how to organize their time so they can help you. While this may be very true in some cases, often times these busy people just can’t say, “No.” They will sacrifice their time to please another. The one person they are not satisfying is themselves.

No is a very short word but carries a lot of power. It has the power to allow you to set limits and also the power to say yes to taking care of your personal interests. Think about what they tell you on the airplane concerning the oxygen masks – “Make sure to secure your own mask first before assisting others. ” They are telling you to take care of yourself first and then you have the needed energy to help others.

Taking care of yourself is about deciding what is most important to you in your life. What is important for you, is really what is best for you. There is a part of you that just knows in your heart what the answer to a request should be. Listen to your heart.

Know that some people will try to flatter, guilt or bully you into saying “yes.” They are pushing your boundaries. This is disrespectful. Boundaries are not always meant to be stretched or crossed.

Exercise your ability to refuse a request by saying, “Sorry, I can’t right now.” or “I’m not taking on any new responsibilities.” Know that you do not owe anyone any additional explanations. Anyone who asks for more details is pushing your boundaries.

If you are really unsure what answer is best, say “I don’t think so; let me check my schedule and think it over.” However, once you make a decision, refuse to reconsider. You need to stand your ground. You have the right to say, “I made my decision; this discussion is over.”

Be aware that when you say “No” to others, you are saying “Yes” to:

• Honoring yourself and your existing obligations.
• Freeing up time to care for yourself, your personal life, or career goals.
• Leaving you time to pursue true interests.
• Allowing others an opportunity to step up and shine.
• Helping you feel more confident and in control.
• Avoiding stress so you are not constantly juggling where to place your time and energy.

When asked to do something for another, be aware that the more you say “No” to what you don’t want, the more you say “Yes” to your personal wants and needs. You are not being selfish but you are being respectful of your own needs. You have the right and the obligation to come first.

No one knows better how to trigger stressful responses in you than your family members. Maintaining your inner peace is often a real challenge at holiday times when you are around family that you haven’t seen in a while.

No matter what your age is now, they expect you to still respond in the same manner to their remarks and antics as you did when you were younger. They don’t understand that you have grown mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. They are comfortable with the “old” you and seek to see that “old” you.

Can you smile at their antics, recognizing their discomfort with change and the fact that they are just reflecting where they are now? Can you honor who they are now with tolerance for they, too, are on their own spiritual path?

You are entitled to the opinion that while your spiritual path is on the “straight and narrow,” theirs is wandering all over the place, but can you respond without making that opinion a judgment? Can you reflect back peace with respect in your voice and manner?

Unconditional love accepts people for who they are. Acceptance does not mean that you aren’t expected to set a better example. People learn by example.

We are all teachers for others, but lecturing and berating others often turns them away. The axiom goes: “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” So, be sweetness and light.

These are some of our challenges as we seek peace within and cultivate true peace in the family and on the planet. Let’s make a plan to help you make it through these holiday times and beyond.

· Remember to do your Grounding every morning and every time you get upset. This will help you to run off your stress and see the world more objectively and less emotionally.

· Do your Brain Balancing every morning so you have the knowledge and wisdom to respond calmly and respectfully.

· Don’t take things personally, because people are really just trying to tell you where they are emotionally.

· Don’t let their drama become your drama.

· Remember, all are on their spiritual path no matter what route they take.

· Set a better example that you want them to follow. Be sweetness and light.

· Accept gifts graciously, because it shows the person was at least thinking of you.

· Set boundaries. This may be the season of giving but that doesn’t mean you have to give in to everyone’s demands of you. Acting out of Guilt is not coming from Love.

· When negativity comes into a discussion, change the subject.

May you find these suggestions helpful in cultivating true peace this holiday and beyond!

If you need to know how to Ground and Brain Balance, go to www.youtube.com/alterra1

None of us have any difficulty understanding why gold would be a great gift but what about that frankincense and myrrh.

While getting started on my Spiritual path I learned the importance of starting my day with an exercise to get me grounded and another to get me brain balanced.

Grounding helps me to run off my stress, hold my ground through challenges and look at things more objectively instead of emotionally. It helps to give me a bigger energy field. This is helpful since, my teacher claims, the person with the biggest energy field always wins and we all want to be winners.

Brain balancing gives me the benefit of looking at things from both the masculine and the feminine side with both knowledge and wisdom and seeing both the whole and the parts of an issue. This is a great benefit for my decision-making. In addition, with a regular practice of brain balancing, I have the additional assistance of spiritual guidance.

So what do these two exercised have to do with the Magi’s gifts? Frankincense assists with grounding and myrrh assists with brain balancing. When applied to the skin in the form of essential oils, the person cannot help but get some grounding and brain balancing.

How about if you gift yourself with some of the Magi’s gifts of frankincense and myrrh and perhaps the gold will soon follow.